Endings and Beginings

Hello all! I can't believe it's already this time of year.

Typically, this is when I'd be posting our latest Family Christmas Video. I love those videos. They're a place where my ideas and visual creativity are allowed to be unbridled. They're little time-capsules, preserving our children's ever-changing personalities. They're joyfull and celabratory despite any of the real, unphotogenic, everyday events and struggles that we go through during the course of the year. In that way, they capture my philosophy that life can be beautiful and smile-worthy, despite {and often because of} the melancholy. Genuine happiness is not the absense of pain. They coexist, like sweet and salty, enhancing the differences.

Last week, I filed for divorce.

Those words sound so dreadful. They imply worlds of hurt, bitterness, and betrayal, which would not be a wrong assumption. But I have been startled, once again, to find that joy is abundantly present.

I know that Heavenly Father has prepared me for this season of my life. I've spent years documenting the ups and downs that have compelled me, over and over again, to turn to Him as my only sure source of comfort and direction; and while my faith has not  become perfect, it is strong. I feel calm and full of gratitude for how clear my path is and the help that is embracing me along the way.

Winking through the calm glow of peace is the thrill that life stretches before me with limitless possibility. After all, I have spent a very, very long time grappling with one hard thing in my life. I'm ready for a new hard thing. I'm ready for new lessons learned and new joys experienced. And thanks to the last 15 years, I know those things are in store for me. The best is yet to come.

Merry Christmas, gentle readers!

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PS- I'm still writing on my anonymous blog, though some of the drafts may not be posted until after the divorce is finalized. If you'd like the link, you can send me an email at melancholy {dot} smile {at} yahoo {dot} com.