I woke up this morning wishing that I was twelve years old again. If I were still a kid, I could stay in bed and let the fever overtake me. I could drowse or read while my body wrestled with this illness that has me in it's grips, and my mom would bring me hot soup and cold soda while shushing my brothers in the other room. But I'm not twelve anymore.
Now that I'm the mother, it doesn't matter that I'm sick. I still have to get up with the baby every few hours. I still have to comfort my 3 year old when he can't sleep because I've thrown out all his pacifiers. I still have to let him crawl into bed with me, though I know he'll kick me all night long. And in the morning, I still have to feed everyone when the sight of food makes me ill. I have to stay on the couch, where I can keep an eye on everyone lest they get into the kind of trouble that only unsupervised children manage to dream up. And when the laundry piles up, or we run out of clean glasses, or the garbage is overflowing, I'm the one who has to remedy the situation.
It's times like these that make me feel a deep sense of kinship with all the women who have come before me. I think about generations of women caring and nurturing for children, and I feel happy to be in the company women like my own mother. I also think all the ways that motherhood teaches me to be patient or selfless, or disciplined. I'm so stubborn, I can't imagine that anything else would be quite so effective. I tell myself to take advantage of these moments to learn as much as I can. Someday, maybe my daughter will be the one wishing she was still little so that I could take care of her when she's sick..... which makes me sound all noble or something.
In reality, my patience lasted until about 11 a.m. Then, the children wouldn't nap, videos ceased to entertain, and WW3 was once again raging in the playroom. When I couldn't take the whining and hitting and destruction any longer, I went to the the gym and let someone else deal with them for one blessed hour.
Which is where I thought of another positive aspect of motherhood and illness.
Weight loss. :)
4 comments:
I am SO sorry. I know how awful that is. I want everyone to pamper me when I'm sick, but mothers definitely learn to sacrifice, don't they!?
What amazes me is that you went to the GYM when you were SICK! Now, I must say, you are either extremely motivated...or insane. Although I can see why the free babysitting would entice you. :)
Get well soon, and let me know how WW3 turns out!
sorry you're sick...and that you have a sick sense of humor ;) you're beautiful and skinny!!!!
oh ps tell C. that i'm watching her and that shane will confiscate her webkins kitten if she doesn't behave!!!
I was having a similar day today...only it is H that is sick...I understand the relating to all women that have gone before. How did they do it?! thanks for sharing and commiserating with all of us...I wonder if husbands will ever truly understand. Dad's are great at helping us see into their minds and try again:). Get better!
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