11.04.2009

Half-Remembered Math and Physics

Over the weekend, J had to literally drag me out of bed. He stripped off the warm blankets I'd buried myself under, pulled me to a standing position and said firmly, "Go running. You'll feel better."

Sometimes I just crash. Intellectually, I understand exactly what it is that I need. I'll feel the gloom sinking in and think frantically, "stem the tide now!" but somewhere between the bed and the medicine cabinet, I end up hugging a pillow on the couch watching endless episodes of Law & Order SVU while popping m&m's and becoming steadily non-responsive.

When I was little, I remember someone telling me that in the vacuum of space, you could throw a baseball and it would keep going at the same rate of speed, in the same direction, for eternity. It would have to encounter something of equal or greater mass in order to stop or something traveling at a greater rate of speed to change velocity.

{Since then I've learned that this would be true in a perfect vacuum, and while space is a vacuum, it is not a perfect vacuum. Sorry. Technicality.}

The point is, that image has stuck with me. Sometimes when depression starts, I feel like that baseball traveling along the same undeviating path for eternity. Helpless. Unable to stop or change direction without some kind of outside force.

Well, on Saturday J was that outside force.

He threw those blankets off of me, dragged me to my feet, gave me a hug and then shoved me out the door.

At first, I could barely walk. My feet felt like lead and a sob was stuck somewhere deep in my chest, threatening to escape. I decided to run until I didn't feel like crying anymore.

10 miles later, I was out of water, hot, tired and sunburned. But instead of feeling like a baseball on a doomed path, I felt like I'd found my orbit.

Thank heaven my man is of equal or greater mass.

{Is that line only funny to me?}

{Sorry.}

{I'm kinda happy right now.}

Huzzah.


10 comments:

hannah said...

Thanks for sharing. Depression is a hard thing.

Kristina said...

I know how you feel, though it's been a while since I was good and depressed. However, winter is looming... the time of year for my depression to spring up. I hope things look up for you. And thank goodness for husbands.
PS Love that picture. Love. It.

Janae said...

I was just talking to my hairdresser about this! She's a runner and is in a slump when she doesn't exercise--she turns to anti-depressants which, for her, doesn't always help. It's a constant battle for everyone in some ways, a battle against our natural man. I, personally, would rather run 26 miles than mop the floor. Unfortunately the floor takes less time than running would. So I mop. And then feel satisfied. But only after the floor is sparkling and I can simply look at it. :)

Mo-Reen said...

Nope it's funny to me also, Huzzah!

Apis Melliflora said...

Husbands are great that way. So are the sneakers. Happy you're happy.

The Queen Vee said...

Depression, not easy, not easy at all. What a blessing that someone you love was there to pull you up and encourage you to start moving those feet. You could have resisted and said, "No Way" but you didn't. Good for both of you.

LisAway said...

A most excellent post! Another favorite for me. Great lesson on physics and life. I love that you keep going until you find your orbit. that's lovely. And that your husband helps knock you into it (because of his extreme mass). :)

McBooter said...

Yo, MS - two words: Strunz and Farah - well, ok three words: Pandora Radio

Corey said...

You must be an Eddi Reeder/Fairground Attraction fan since that picture is the cover photo to one of my favorite cds which contains one of my favorite songs "Perfect" which ties into this blog perfectly.

Andrea said...

No, that line is hilarious: I laughed out loud! Thanks for the happy boost this morning and the great analogy. I'm afraid that this morning I'm the basketball sitting at my computer for eternity, although my children are becoming the whining items of equal or greater mass--or volume
:0) Thank goodness for husbands who love us enough to what's best, but not always easiest, for us!

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