5.26.2010

Post-Script

So, as we were going to bed, J commented, "I read your latest blog post. You were.... direct."

"Do you mean offensive?" I asked. "Because I didn't mean to be offensive."

"No," he hedged. "Only you know what you're feeling, and it's your blog so you can say whatever you want. It's just... I think people only meant to say, 'count your blessings', you know?"

Translation: yeah, you were offensive.

When I was a kid, I had this grumpy cat named Shady. She didn't like anyone but me, but was even more awful when she was pregnant. I once watched her walk down the sidewalk then spot another cat resting beneath a tree a few yards away. She hesitated, veered off the path, walked up to the other cat and smacked it in the face before returning to the sidewalk to continue on her way. It was like she had to hit it just because it was there.

So, to those of you I offended: I'm sorry. You were just there, and lately I feel like a Shady cat.

8 comments:

The Dragonfly said...

Guess what? You didn't offend me! You made me laugh. Not because what you're going through is funny at all - I know it isn't, but I just had to chuckle at your blunt, no skirting around it attitude. You pretty much rock! And the cat story . . . so awesome! I think I've also felt like that cat!

mosey said...

Your blog. Your words. Period.

I actually chose not to comment on those posts because I've felt similar in the past - not about being pregnant, but about advice given to me when I feel I know better who I am and what I need.

One thing I did come out of a recent emotional battle with was this - I take those (mostly ignored) pieces of advice and visualize wrapping them up like a birthday present. Then when I'm feeling alone or in need of the good feelings behind the advice, I look at it or pick it up and shake it. It sometimes gives me a boost when I need it.

Be well!

Rachael said...

This is me apologizing for my earlier comment. I didn't mean to downplay your depression--my mom and my sister both suffer from different types of depression and I know on a very personal level just how devastating it is on a daily basis.

I commented based solely on the fact that sometimes when I'm feeling awful, it helps when someone reminds me of the good things in my life. I'm sorry that it didn't come across in a positive way.

Hope today is going well!

Miggy said...

Well put. The first post that is. I think you said it really, really well. And I too have felt that say way... ashamed for feelings of sadness and struggle, when I have it so good in many other areas.

I think we often confuse what a trial or a blessing really looks like because we all wear earthly glasses we can't take off. Therefore what LOOKS like a blessing to us {and might even BE a blessing if it were our life and circumstances} is actually a trial for someone else or even a blessing and a trial, but still...it's largely our circumstances that place a particular situation in the realm of 'trial' or 'blessing' {or both}. We can see how circumstances make the difference in other areas {for example sex can be either positive and negative depending on the circumstances--if you're having sex with your lawfully wedded spouse, it's positive, if you're having sex with someone else's lawfully wedded spouse, it's negative} but sometimes we want to take a single experience and give it a broad meaning for everyone.

Anyway, while I'm glad you're able to keep in it perspective and know people aren't trying to be rude, I'm glad you know you're not in the wrong for how you feel either.

Apis Melliflora said...

Your honesty is always eloquent and refreshing. Genuine people speak to me deeply and your blog voice is always genuine. I count my blessings that I found your honest, genuine, offensive, beautiful voice.

Stacy said...

Keep saying how you feel and don't feel the need to apologize, this is your forum.

And I promise this is the last time I will say this.. if you are feeling super super down, not sleeping, etc, consider speaking to your doctor about going back on Zoloft. The only known issue is that baby *might* experience a temporary crankiness after birth from withdrawal... nothing permanent or dangerous.

Good Luck Mama, hang in there.
Stacy

Scottkids said...

I totally agree! you can write whatever you want, it's your blog, and your feelings! (But, I do understand you don't want to offend anyone either) I love your blog because you are honest, and that takes a lot of vulnerablity to be that honest. It's a wonderful quality!

McBooter said...

Friends and family feel called to solve, when a trial is laid before them. It's our helpful, put-your-shoulder-to-the-wheel nature. Took me years to realize that my wife was not asking me to help fix it, she was simply venting her frustration in the safest place she had.

No offense intended, none taken.

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