Not Noise

A few months ago, J and I were in the car together and he plugged in his ipod. It played pleasantly in the background as we drove for an hour. There were songs I hadn't heard in years, songs I knew and loved and songs I'd never heard before. It was then that it struck me that I never listen to music unless I'm running.

Why is that?

I like music. I often identify deeply with lyrics, and there are songs that can transport me back to a specific moment in time, to an exact event or feeling. But somewhere along the line, it stopped occurring to me to play music. I think it was during my major depression after E was born. I became {and still am} extremely sensitive to sounds, and music just seemed like an extra layer of noise added to the cacophony of our household. In fact, I started saying that if I had to choose between losing my sight or losing my hearing, I'd give up my hearing, hands down.

Lately, that's changed.

That day in the car, I noticed the kids didn't yell from the backseat as much when there was music. Then, when I was in labor with baby R, J put on some quiet music and I was surprised again by how soothing I found it.

This week, I've been experimenting with playing mellow playlists on Pandora during typically difficult hours in our house-- usually right around dinner time when the sun is setting, the children are tired and whiny and I'm at the end of my rope. It's been nice. For one, it prevents the kids from putting on some loud and annoying cartoon {Spongebob} and for two, it seems to set the tone for the final hours of our day.

The fact that I get to hear Naked As We Came every so often? Bonus.


Tru Stories said...

That is a song I use in Yoga. I Heart it!
2 years ago, you posted a list of your favorite songs. I immediately downloaded several and use them in my classes. I have taken a few off of J's movies..etc.
I would REALLY love it, if both of you posted a list of your favorites, again.

Marci said...

I second a list of songs post...I'm always looking for new stuff! I used to love music and play it all the time and have found that I hardly listen to it anymore for similar reasons. With young kids it seems like all you hear all day is noise, noise, noise and so I think our immediate response is to crave silence. But music is powerful like you said...I'm going to try and listen to it more too!

LisAway said...

How interesting! I have an issue with music, too. Sometimes I really want it blaring, especially while I'm cleaning, but not very often. Usually it is just something in the background that makes it so we have to shout to hear each other or so I can't think. It stresses me.

This makes me sad because I loved listening to music growing up, but my mom felt the way I do now. I'm a little sad to realize that, but at least now I understand her.

However, music is ESSENTIAL on our many Sundays spent at home. It is what makes it feel like Sunday, when we might otherwise want to lounge around in our PJs most the morning. Instead we put on our Sunday clothes and get doing sabbathy things.

But most interesting is the fact that Greg has recently started keeping the TV off in the evenings (it was on pretty much every night while I ran around doing nightly preparations). He puts on music instead. Some of the music I don't care for (different tastes) but I recognize that it makes a huge difference in our home. Partly just not having the TV on but a lot of it is having music creating a kind of flow to the things we are doing. I love it. And I'm glad you have rediscovered it, too!

Apis Melliflora said...

I turn to music with a fierce intensity when major changes are underfoot in my life. Maybe your mind is receptive because of baby R. Go with it! Soak in all the new music you can and enjoy!

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