I've never felt so attached to a calling-- it was exciting and meaningful and scary and demanding and fun. It seems wrong that the entire time I was serving, I was sick, depressed and pregnant. Now that I'm actually feeling up to the task, it's no longer required of me.
I'm having a tough time letting go.
In an effort to distract myself, I've been playing with Mad Men Yourself. It's kind of addictive. And so opposite of thinking about church callings. :)
*sigh*
Time to snap out of it and go running, do dishes, fold laundry, take the baby to the doctor... back to life.
4 comments:
I'm sorry to hear of your sadness and disappointment - so often we don't stop to appreciate what we have until it is gone. However, I have a feeling that someone like you has a lot of callings in life - I can't wait to hear what is around the corner for you. It is bound to be fulfilling and exciting and exactly what you are looking for. And in the present, being back to life and having time to enjoy those little things is divine.
I think working with the YW is definitely one of the best callings there is. After we were married I was with them in our first two wards and loved it so much. When we moved again and I wasn't with them I had a hard time getting into my calling because I didn't feel like I was making a difference or growing myself the way I did when I was with them. I guess maybe we are the ones learning something when we are released :-). I'm sure the girls loved you, learned so much from you and are missing you too...and I'm sure over time you'll begin to love a new calling *almost* as much :-)!
If the blonde is supposed to be you Mad Men-ized, the chin is way too strong. You have a narrow little cat chin like dad. You also need to make the eyes big and DQie and beautiful bluer [and bat your eyes like this...], the waist smaller, the top a little larger, and make her a little shorter (no matter how much you want to be 5' 9"!), and put a few dark streaks in the hair and *then* maybe she'll look like you!
Your self image has way improved since art class, but you still are adding a decade or so to your looks, silly girl! :)
Letting go of a calling you love is always hard, plain and simple and it seems the callings we love are never the ones we get to keep - but I do know that I am stretched and also grow in the callings I never anticipated. You'll do great things where ever you are.
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