I'm so proud of E lately. He's trying so hard to control his temper, be nicer to L, and serve as a good example. It's not easy for him-- he's a perfectionist, easily gets aggravated, and often reacts with anger in order to avoid crying.

{He's really just a big marshmallow at heart. Case in point: we were watching Labyrinth with the kids. During the scene where Baby Toby is crying in the Goblin King's castle, E became very distressed. "He wants his teddy bear!" he'd say, tears welling up in his eyes. It bothered him to no end that they would allow a baby to cry, even if it was just for a movie.}

In the last few months I've watched him come inside while his friends play football out front. He took deep breaths and explained to me that he didn't understand the rules and wanted the boys to play his way. When they refused, he came inside to 'cool down'. Just a few weeks earlier, he would have yelled and hit someone.

A while ago, he got sent to the Principal's office at school again, but this time instead of kicking and screaming uncontrollably, he seethed and proclaimed, "I can't finish my project because I'm just so fust-rated!" He was allowed to sit until his anger subsided, and then he hopped up and declared he was ready to go back to class.

After Nana gave him a dollar for going an entire day without hurting anyone, he proudly came to me after every 24 hours completed without hitting. "I got really mad today, but I didn't hurt even though it was really, really hard," he'd report.

And right now, he and L are upstairs playing some made up game involving a cribbage board and Monopoly money. They haven't yelled, teased, or exchanged insults all morning. It's so nice, that I don't even mind that they're playing instead of cleaning their room.

J and I were quite worried about our temperamental boy, but all this progress reminds me that we're here to learn, grow and develop new skills. None of us are set in stone. Change is possible. He's certainly doing that, and I find it inspiring. I wonder how much I'm capable of change if I'd just put my mind to it?


The Dragonfly said...

Change in a positive direction = so hard to do, yet so rewarding. We could all learn a lesson from your boy.

Crys said...

Way to go E. It is so hard to learn those skills when you are older, I am still struggling to have control over my "get angry so I don't cry disposition"

The Queen Vee said...

Wow, I think he's doing better than a lot of adults. Even though he struggles a bit with control his understanding is phenomenal.

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