February Face

"Why, what's the matter,
that you have such a February face,
so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness?"

-William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

I've been a bit absent lately, allowing the stresses and disappointments of life to weigh heavily on me. I know better, but sometimes the strength to care for myself eludes me in the face of an escapist book and a warm bed. I wallow and feel all the worse for it.

As much as they'd wanted to, my parents are no longer coming to live with us. For now, their path continues to keep them in Washington State, and while in practical terms this means that my life hasn't really been affected, I have a hard time remaining practical regarding it all. The almost-nearness; the glancing promise of living-in-one-another's-pockets and the what-could-have-beens have made our current distance feel all the more vast. I dwell too much on the loss.

That, in addition to the looming cloud-of-death that is our financial situation, has managed to cast a pall over my mood. I need to shake it off. Be happy. Or at the very least, adopt Lord Grantham's attitude:

"I haven't the right to be unhappy, and that's almost the same thing."

Now, isn't that a cheerful sentiment to start off your Monday?



The Dragonfly said...

I'd take his attitude if I weren't so mad at him for leaving his man of morals status to become a maid kisser. :) But I have had you on my mind and been hoping for some sunshine to make it your direction.

Nat said...

I love downton abbey!!! I suggest spending the afternoon at the park, that always helps me feel a little bit better.

amersrae said...

when I was growing up, I figured that my entire family would live in the same town, or within a short drive and that my kids would be raised with their grandparents close by. It has been so hard to deal with the fact that this will probably never happen. So many people have their family close and do not even like them- right?! A few years ago, we were only 5 hours away and it seemed like heaven. It did not last. Now, my older kids are teens, I have a toddler, my mom is struggling with cancer treatments and I am 12 hours away. It is such a frustrating (among other things) feeling. Just wanted you to know that I hear you. I hope that there is some sunshine in your day, and that you can find reasons to smile.

Creole Wisdom said...

That's too bad. I know that you were looking forward to having them there!

Apis Melliflora said...

I put you on the moral high ground to Lord Grantham.
I pray your situation begins to take a turn for the better. May doors open for you and your family.

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