Silence is Golden

I woke up Tuesday morning without a voice. While I don't feel particularly sick, my vocal cords refuse to be engaged, forcing me to communicate in whispers, hand signals, and exaggerated expressions. With three small children to shepherd around, the prospect of being mute was, at first, alarming. However, after 24 hours, I am startled by what this mandatory silence has taught me; about myself, my parenting, and my children. 

Since August, the children have been fighting with each other ferociously. I have been praying for several weeks to know how I may bring a better spirit into our home. I have longed for our house to be a peaceful refuge from the world, filled with a spirit of love for one another. And naturally, I have been convinced that this would happen if I could just find a way to make my children speak more lovingly to one another, fight less, and stop being so dang loud. I should have known to take a long look at myself first.

Silence has changed everything. Since communication is now an effort, I've had to be much more selective about what I 'say'. Immediately, hundreds of "Hurry up!"'s and "Be quiet"'s have been eliminated from my vocabulary. I can no longer yell at my children from another room: I have to walk up to them, make eye contact, and then speak. They in turn, have to pay attention in order to understand what I'm saying. I say much less, they listen {and obey!} much more. Amazing!

I've discovered that whispers are contagious. Receptionists, grocery checkers, and the children all unconsciously answer me in whispers. {You'd think that buying diapers was some kind of covert operation by the way we whisper over the entire transaction.} This has been invaluable when dealing with arguments between the kids. Remember the proverb, "A soft word turneth away wrath"? True. I have found that when I intervene with whispers and eye contact, my children's tone changes. They are still upset. They still fight with one another. But it doesn't escalate as far or as rapidly, and our home has been more peaceful. 

I feel humbled in the light of these revelations. For so long, I've wanted a loving home. I've always known that I am responsible to set the tone and guide my children in this, but the experiences of these last few days has taught me just how much influence I truly have. Next time my senses feel assaulted by the cacophony of our home, I pray that I remember this.