1.20.2012

Something New






So often, I dress to feel thin. I avoid certain styles, hair do's, trends, all because I don't feel 'thin enough' to pull them off. When I'm depressed, my thoughts become consumed with how much happier I'd be if I could just lose 10, 20, a million pounds. It seems as though it's my mind's default for avoiding any other emotion or problem I may be facing in life.

I'm sick of it.

This year, I vow to live in that uncomfortable space where excitement and uncertainty dwell. I want to drown out that voice that tells me to put off my life until I achieve some unattainable ideal. I want to be joyful in my own skin instead of wishing I could slough it off like the grime of a filthy cell I'm caged within.

And I'm starting today.

I'm putting my hair up, though I'm certain it leaves me entirely too exposed {with my pointy nose and turkey waddle.} I'm wearing skinny jeans even though the mirror reflects only my hips and thighs. I'm sweeping on bright lipstick and stepping out of the house scared but exhilarated-- because today feels like the beginning of something new.

A more contented me.

10 comments:

Allison said...

Good for you! I wear skinny jeans (even though I'm hardly skinny)and I love to wear my hair up (even though it highlights my non-existent chin) and I wear horizontal striped t-shirts when I know I'm not supposed to.

p.s. your bun is adorable :)

Crys said...

You look awesome. You are inspiring Mark to wear skinny jeans J/k dog j/k for reals-mark, no but sincerely this makes me excited and happy for you and a little proud I know you cause you are that awesome.

cadence f. said...

You look so great! That was my first thought when I saw this pic. I love the bun and you are rockin the lipstick!

The Dragonfly said...

Isn't it amazing how we are able to convince ourselves of these flaws we have that must be so obvious to everyone else! Because when I saw this picture (before reading the post)the first thing I thought was "She has the perfect features for this hairstyle. How gorgeous!"

You look great! Go for it.

Amber - Binkertation said...

You are completely adorable and love the outfit AND the bun - you are beautiful!

Good for you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone - it's not easy and you should be super proud!

Lindsey said...

You look absolutely beautiful. xox

Apis Melliflora said...

I think we all dress to play up our assets. You won't catch me in a bikini, for example.

But I think it's great that you've embarked on an adventure that will perhaps enlarge your world of comfort and possibility.

With your hair up, you have an elegant Audrey Hepburn silhouette.

The Queen Vee said...

As the British say, you look FAB dulling, simply FAB!

Miggy said...

You look great. Way to face the hard stuff and do it.

Ps. Are you art-a-thinking tomorrow?

LisAway said...

Yay!! This post makes me happy. And you look darling as ever. I am happy for you.

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