12.03.2014

Endings and Beginings


Hello all! I can't believe it's already this time of year.

Typically, this is when I'd be posting our latest Family Christmas Video. I love those videos. They're a place where my ideas and visual creativity are allowed to be unbridled. They're little time-capsules, preserving our children's ever-changing personalities. They're joyfull and celabratory despite any of the real, unphotogenic, everyday events and struggles that we go through during the course of the year. In that way, they capture my philosophy that life can be beautiful and smile-worthy, despite {and often because of} the melancholy. Genuine happiness is not the absense of pain. They coexist, like sweet and salty, enhancing the differences.


Last week, I filed for divorce.

Those words sound so dreadful. They imply worlds of hurt, bitterness, and betrayal, which would not be a wrong assumption. But I have been startled, once again, to find that joy is abundantly present.

I know that Heavenly Father has prepared me for this season of my life. I've spent years documenting the ups and downs that have compelled me, over and over again, to turn to Him as my only sure source of comfort and direction; and while my faith has not  become perfect, it is strong. I feel calm and full of gratitude for how clear my path is and the help that is embracing me along the way.

Winking through the calm glow of peace is the thrill that life stretches before me with limitless possibility. After all, I have spent a very, very long time grappling with one hard thing in my life. I'm ready for a new hard thing. I'm ready for new lessons learned and new joys experienced. And thanks to the last 15 years, I know those things are in store for me. The best is yet to come.


Merry Christmas, gentle readers!

{image 1, image 2, image 3}

PS- I'm still writing on my anonymous blog, though some of the drafts may not be posted until after the divorce is finalized. If you'd like the link, you can send me an email at melancholy {dot} smile {at} yahoo {dot} com.

18 comments:

CourtinFL said...

Prayers and hugs.

Miggy said...

I love how much hope and joy jump through those words. No doubt, you know grief and pain, but really...I see so and feel so much goodness coming from your words. Peace. Is there anything better?

Hugs.

ellen said...

I appreciate your honesty. I'd like to follow your blog. patton_ellen@hotmail.com. Thanks and I hope you have some peace this holiday season. And lots of treats.

The Dragonfly said...

In the time I have known you, several thugs have been clear to me - you are a woman of God and you have strength to do hard things! You are amazing and I love you! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

The Dragonfly said...

Things ... Hello autocorrect!

Marci said...

I hope you are able to enjoy your holiday season surrounded by your children and full of their love. You deserve happiness!

BBC said...

i have really appreciated your honest and beautiful posts about this trial. i have been going through the same type of trial around the same time yours also began and it was so comforting to read another woman's perspective on similar challenges. thank you for sharing a piece of yourself. i wish you the best in your new chapter. i'd love to follow your blog also if you don't mind. beka [dot] clement [at] gmail

Emily said...

A few days ago I wondered how you were doing which sounds crazy since I don't "know" you other than here online...best wishes for a peaceful holiday with your sweet children!

Angela Ross said...

Our family wanted to make videos of own for Christmas after watching yours. It's become a cherished family tradition for the past several years. You never know how far your light will shine. I am sorry for this difficult time in your life. Thank you for sharing your light, even through the dark times.

Jackietex said...

Merry Christmas, and may you have a year full of blessing and joy.

Aimee said...

Those videos were something I always looked forward to so I imagine it is a grief beyond words.

I am so sorry your marriage worked out the way it did. You deserved to be loved and to love back in a way that is safe and honest and transparent.

Sending you so much love as you start this process. I know it is not easy one bit. Hoping 2015 is a new chapter that brings peace and confidence in your new direction.

{{{Internet big hug}}}}}

laura said...

I'm very sorry for the hard things you and your family have gone through. You always seem to endure them with complete grace and I love that you're approaching the future with the optimism of "limitless possibilities".

Diana said...

I've read your blog for a long time and always enjoy it. I'm sad to hear your news but you have such a positive attitude. I'd love to follow your other blog if that's okay. dianaowens27 [at] gmail

Rachael said...

I'm so hopeful for you. You made a comment on your other blog about being willing to live in a loveless marriage, and I felt so much sorrow reading that and knowing that you felt like that could be your normal. I truly hope and pray that you can look back on this choice as an amazing turning point for both yourself and your children in their understanding of how parents should treat each other with love and respect. Best wishes and prayers coming your way!

Jennifer said...

I've followed your blog (anonymously) for a few years and have always been impressed and inspired by your honesty. I wish nothing but happiness for you and your kids in 2015! I'd also love to follow your blog allensoverseas (at) gmail.com.

Apis Melliflora said...

I too have a had a difficult year. And yet, and yet, blessings abound. Goodbye 2014 and hello to the peace and possibilities of 2015! Peace, hope and joy to you, Melancholy!

Creole Wisdom said...

Sending you a big hug!

Would love to read along katieharris86 @ gmail dot com

Nicole said...

Natasia! I'm so sorry I have been out of the loop with this pregnancy and my mom gave me the update. I would love to follow things, you have my email address I hope, so please keep me posted (if not I'll send it to you again). WE are actually here in PHX with our own family situation and I wanted to get a hold of you sooner. You can follow it at caringbridge.org under Chloe Donaldson. Keep me posted. You are in our thoughts and prayers!

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